There's no other job as tough and simultaneously amazing as being a mom. But ask just about any one of them, and they'll tell you: The mom guilt is real.
Are you doing enough…or too much? Are you making the right choices? Add the pressure of comparing yourself to the seemingly picture-perfect lives of other moms on social media, and it’s easy to feel like you’re not measuring up. Or, maybe you’re completely unfazed by those TikTok reels and Instagram posts from friends and influencers alike.
To gain a better perspective into the 'mom guilt' phenomenon, the team at Little Sleepies surveyed 1,000 moms with children aged ten or younger who use social media.
Top Findings:
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Nearly three-quarters of moms (72.5%) compare themselves to other moms on social media, with 24.5% doing so often and 48% sometimes.
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42.7% of moms feel that social media has no influence on their parenting style, while 38.5% believe it has had a positive influence.
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Nearly 1 in 5 moms report social media has negatively influenced their parenting style (18.8%).
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40.6% of moms sometimes compare their child's development to those shown by parenting influencers, while 44.1% never do.
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34.8% of moms said they feel pressured to create and share content that portrays a “perfect” parenting style and lifestyle.
The pressure to have it all together online, all the time
The Cleveland Clinic describes 'mom guilt' as the feelings of guilt and shame some people feel when they don’t live up to their own or others’ expectations in their role as parents.
While this feeling existed long before our first Instagram handles, social media is one of the many influences in our society that pressure parents into thinking we should be able to ‘do it all.'
So how pervasive is it? Social media aside, our survey findings revealed that more than half of moms (52.5%) experience mom guilt sometimes, while 24.3% often feel it.
We also wanted to investigate how much comparisons to others trigger mom guilt. It's easy to fall into the trap of self-doubt and guilt when scrolling through feeds of perfectly curated toddler parties and bedtime routines.
After all, social media is a highlight reel, and that’s no different when it comes to portraying parenthood.
When asked how social media impacted these negative feelings, a significant portion of moms (58.5%) reported feeling guilty about their parenting choices due to social media posts from other parents, while 41.5% of moms say social media doesn't make them feel guilty at all.
It's important to note that any parent can experience similar negative feelings associated with parenthood, no matter how you define your role.
The influence of "Momfluencers." Can a TikTok lead to turmoil?
On the one hand, social media connects you with advice, support, and reassurance from an abundance of moms. On the other, it can be a highly curated version of parenting. One where every scroll seems to reveal another “momfluencer” with photos of her adorable and brilliant children, the healthy gourmet meal she whipped up, the latest family vacation, and a flawlessly staged home. Throw pillows intact and all.
Even if you know there’s more to the story than what’s shown online, viewing these posts can be emotionally taxing and may fuel feelings of insecurity and incompetence. So much so that a third of moms in our survey (35.7%) have taken social media time-outs because of mom guilt, and 29% took it even further by unfollowing a parenting influencer altogether due to feelings of inadequacy.
On the flip side? Those who aren’t unfollowing may be trying to follow the crowd—34.8% of moms said they feel pressured to create and share content that portrays a “perfect” parenting style and lifestyle.
Are our feeds fostering inspiration or insecurity?
Speaking of those parenting styles, perhaps even more noteworthy is that social media is doing more than showcasing idealized portrayals of parenthood. It's actively swaying how parents interact with and raise their children through our access to different child-raising techniques.
For example, our study revealed that 34.8% of moms have tried Gentle Parenting—a method focused on empathy and connection—due to social media exposure. This approach is trending among our surveyed moms alongside other popular styles like Free-Range Parenting (19.4%), Attachment Parenting (14.1%), and the Montessori Method (12.5%).
But here’s where it gets interesting. While social media might introduce and inspire moms to explore different parenting philosophies, its impact on how moms feel about themselves as parents isn’t so clear-cut. Our study showed that 45.6% of moms report their confidence remains unshaken by parenting influencers, and 28% actually feel more confident. On the other hand, 26.4% answered they feel less confident in their parenting abilities after consuming that type of social media content.
Embrace the perfectly imperfect
The findings revealed there's a wide range of reactions to social media when it comes to mom guilt. Ultimately, you should choose what works best for you—Whether that's deleting those apps if you're experiencing negative feelings or using them to inspire you if they uplift you.
At Little Sleepies, we celebrate the unique beauty of every mom and family, and turning everyday moments into magical memories. Whether the cookie batter ends up on the floor instead of in the oven, or capturing that perfect family photo in matching pajamas feels like trying to herd cats, it's perfectly okay. What truly matters are those special moments you create together, messy buns and all.
So ditch the comparisons, embrace the perfectly imperfect, and cherish those everyday joys. You're doing an amazing job, mama. And remember, Little Sleepies is here to keep your little ones comfy and cozy through all of life's adventures. And remember, there are supportive communities out there ready to embrace and encourage each other, from Facebook communities to local mom groups. You're not alone on this wonderful journey.
Survey Methodology
Little Sleepies surveyed 1,000 respondents in the Summer of 2024 with the following stipulations:
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they identify as moms to children aged 10 or under
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they use social media
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they reside in the U.S.
