Expert Q&A: Finding the Right Sport or Hobby for Your Child

Each child is unique, and discovering the right sport or hobby can be a wonderful way to help them build confidence, develop new skills, and — most importantly — have fun! But with so many activities out there, how do you encourage exploration without overwhelming them?

We sat down with Dr. Kimberly Bennett, a psychologist and parenting expert, to discuss how positive and gentle parenting can guide children in finding activities they truly enjoy.

From recognizing early interests to supporting them through challenges, she shares practical tips to help your little one explore their passions in a way that feels natural and rewarding.

Can you share a bit about your background and what inspired you to specialize in child development and positive parenting?

I'm a mother to two wonderful children (aged 7 and 3), and my journey into child development and positive parenting was profoundly shaped by my eldest. Becoming his mother taught me more about children and connection than all my professional training combined.

My highly sensitive son led me to explore gentle parenting, a philosophy that aligned beautifully with the theories and research I studied and practiced throughout my psychology career.

When I first became a parent, I found it challenging to locate advice that resonated with my understanding of child development, attachment theory, and human relationships. So much advice was rooted in behaviorist principles that contradicted my maternal instincts. I wanted to be a responsive and attuned parent.

This gap inspired me to create The Psychologist's Child — a resource designed to support families in feeling confident about parenting from a place of connection. My goal is to help nurture strong parent-child relationships and navigate the challenges of infancy and early childhood with compassion and insight.

How do positive and gentle parenting principles influence the way parents can approach introducing hobbies or sports to their children?

Positive and gentle parenting encourages an approach rooted in understanding, respect, and patience — principles that work wonders when introducing hobbies or sports to children. The key is to focus on encouragement and support rather than pressure or expectations.

For example, instead of saying, "You need to play an instrument," try, "What activities look fun to you?" This approach respects the child's autonomy and fosters intrinsic motivation.

Gentle parenting also helps create a safe space where children feel comfortable trying new things, making mistakes, and expressing their likes and dislikes. I once worked with a family where the parents were avid tennis players. Rather than pushing their child into tennis lessons, they introduced her to various sports and let her choose. To their surprise, she fell in love with swimming! By following her lead, they nurtured her passion and strengthened their bond.

What role does attachment theory play in helping children explore their interests and develop a love for activities?

Attachment theory highlights the importance of a secure bond between a child and their caregiver. When children feel securely attached, they are more likely to explore the world around them with confidence. 

This sense of security acts as a "safe base" from which they can try new activities, knowing they have a trusted adult to support them if things don’t go as planned.

For instance, a child who feels secure might be more willing to try a piano class because they know their parent will encourage them — even if they hit a wrong note. Offering reassurance, celebrating their efforts, and staying present (literally and emotionally) as they navigate new experiences are key ways attachment influences exploration.

What advice would you give parents who want to align their parenting values with encouraging their child’s individuality and curiosity?

Encouraging individuality starts with listening. Pay attention to what excites your child, and follow their lead.

Here are a few ways to create a supportive environment:

- Expose them to different experiences. Let them try a variety of activities at home and in social settings.
-  Follow their natural interests. If they’re always building with blocks, they might enjoy engineering activities.
- Offer choices. Give them the freedom to decide what excites them.
- Celebrate effort, not just results! Cheer them on for trying, even if they don’t stick with something long-term.

Think of your child like a wildflower — you provide the sunlight, water, and soil, but they’ll bloom in their own way.

What are some signs parents can look for to identify their child’s natural interests and strengths?

Children often reveal their interests through play. A child who loves stacking blocks may have an emerging knack for problem-solving, while one who enjoys drawing could be nurturing an artistic streak. Watch for repeated patterns: whether it’s music, physical activity, or imaginative play.

Another key sign is the "flow state" — when a child is so immersed in an activity that they lose track of time. For example, my son loves nature but never showed much interest in drawing, while my three-year-old daughter can spend hours sketching and "writing." These patterns provide valuable insight into their passions.

At what age do children typically start showing preferences for certain activities or hobbies?

Children can start showing interest as early as 2-3 years old, but these preferences may shift frequently in the early years. By preschool age (3-5 years), their interests often become more pronounced.

To encourage exploration:

• Provide a variety of age-appropriate toys and experiences.

• Rotate toys to keep things fresh.

• Allow plenty of unstructured playtime so they can discover what they truly enjoy.

How can parents introduce new activities without overwhelming their child?

Start slow! Introduce one new activity at a time and see how your child responds. A trial class or "taster day" can be a great way to gauge their interest without committing to an entire season.

Balance is key. One or two extracurricular activities per week are usually enough. Kids need downtime to recharge and enjoy creative, unstructured play.

How can parents encourage a child to stick with an activity long enough to see if they enjoy it—without forcing them?

A good rule of thumb is to set a trial period. For example, committing to a season or a few weeks before deciding whether to continue. During this time, check in with your child:

• What do they enjoy about the activity?

• What challenges are they facing?

• Do they need more support to feel comfortable?

For younger children, “grown-up and me” classes or simply staying nearby during their first few sessions can help ease anxiety and build confidence.

How can parents support children in facing challenges or setbacks in their chosen sport or hobby while keeping the experience positive?

1. Normalize setbacks. Share your own experiences of struggling with something new. For example:
   "When I was learning to ride a bike, I fell so many times! But I kept practicing, and eventually, I got the hang of it."

2. Celebrate perseverance! Instead of focusing only on success, acknowledge their hard work:
   "I’m so proud of how you keep trying!" rather than "You’re the best at this!"

Focusing on effort over outcomes helps children build resilience and confidence in their abilities.

Dr. Kimberly Bennett is passionate about helping parents navigate childhood with confidence and connection. You can explore more of her insights and resources at The Psychologist’s Child.

What hobbies or sports has your child fallen in love with? Share your experiences in the comments below for a chance to win a $50 Little Sleepies gift card!